I strongly encourage you when you like the shippy bits to go out and buy the book!
'She' is always Sam and 'he' is always Jack unless stated otherwise by me.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp, Double Secret Productions and Showtime.
Novel The Cost of Honor written by Sally Malcolm
***“Carter’s on the case, it’s a walk in the park.” Teal’c was silent for a moment. “You place a great deal of faith in Major Carter’s abilities,” he (Teal’c) observed. “The task she faces is formidable.” That was true enough, but Jack could read the subtext.
***He didn’t answer right away, but glanced over at Teal’c. “You can do it, Carter. I know you can.”.
***He didn’t answer right away, but glanced over at Teal’c. “You can do it, Carter. I know you can.”.
“If I can’t-“.
“If you can’t, then it’s impossible.”
***And then, over his shoulder, “Good work, Carter. Now, get some rest.”. “Yes, sir,” came the bemused reply. “Thank you, sir.” Jack grumbled a response, and Daniel just smiled to himself. –snip- He’d (Daniel) sensed a brittleness about the pair of them that had troubled him. They were nurturing inner wounds deeper than the cuts and bruises of battle.
***Beside him (Daniel), he heard Jack muttering to himself as he tried to get comfortable again. Good luck. But perhaps he could offer Jack a different kind of comfort? “Sam seems better,” he muttered quietly, closing his heavy eyes and allowing his mind to drift. “I think she’ll be okay.”
***And then, over his shoulder, “Good work, Carter. Now, get some rest.”. “Yes, sir,” came the bemused reply. “Thank you, sir.” Jack grumbled a response, and Daniel just smiled to himself. –snip- He’d (Daniel) sensed a brittleness about the pair of them that had troubled him. They were nurturing inner wounds deeper than the cuts and bruises of battle.
***Beside him (Daniel), he heard Jack muttering to himself as he tried to get comfortable again. Good luck. But perhaps he could offer Jack a different kind of comfort? “Sam seems better,” he muttered quietly, closing his heavy eyes and allowing his mind to drift. “I think she’ll be okay.”
After a long silence came a careful, “Yeah. I hope so.”.
“And you?”.
“Go to sleep, Daniel.” It was as close to an answer as he was likely to get, but he was satisfied. Jack would be okay.
***She could probably do with one of those little heart to hearts Hammond was so good at, but talking had never been Jack’s forte. Instead, he nudged her arm, and when she looked up he offered her his coffee. “Here. I’m gonna find the facilities.”
***Carter smiled, and for a moment all the darkness of the past few days faded away. He felt a burst of optimism, shaking him wide-awake like good, strong coffee.
***His eyes fixed on Sam, and something significant passed between them. A question asked, and an answer given. Daniel glanced from one to the other, trying to figure out what was going on.
***Behind him, he sensed Jack enter the room, radiating tension in waves. Daniel glanced up and saw his friend staring at Sam with an inscrutable intensity. “Carter.” It wasn’t a bark, but somehow it sounded like an order.
***“Doesn’t matter how,” Jack interjected. “We just need you to fix it and get us outta here.” His words were abrupt, with no concession to Sam’s obviously fragile state. But the gentle way he continued to clean her face belied his brusqueness; it was a tenderness Daniel found difficult to witness.
***“Colonel O’Neill said you had a tough time,” she (Janet) commented mildly, lifting Sam’s shirt to expose the bandaged wound beneath her collarbone. “If you want to talk about it…?”. “The Colonel said that?” For some reason, it surprised her. He had his own problems. “He’s worried about you.”
***“But it’s got nothing to do with Carter, leaver her out of it.” Crawford’s smile returned and he took a step forward, eyes coming to rest on Carter as tough seeing her for the first time. “Leave her out of it? Would that make things easier for you, Jack?” He said no more. He’d already said too much.
***They did the same to Carter, who was watching them all with guarded trepidation. He shared it and edged closer, letting his elbows nudge hers. Okay? She looked over and gave a slight nod in reply to his silent question.
***A savage blow to the head dropped him to his knees. “Sir!” Sam spun around, trying to protect him from another blow. –snip- The soldier raised his weapon again. “No!” she yelled, forcing herself between him and the Colonel.
***“Please,” she said, “help him.” Kenna fixed his gaze on Damaris as he said, “Chief, call a Medic.” Then he pulled a cloth from his pocket, walked down the steps from the gate and handed it to Sam. Carefully, she pressed it against the Colonel’s bleeding head.
***Letting out a slow, steadying breath, Sam returned her attention to the Colonel. To her surprise, his eyes were open and they met hers with dour understanding; Sam had no doubt their minds were running parallel.
***Breathing heavily, he glared back at her. “What?”.
***She could probably do with one of those little heart to hearts Hammond was so good at, but talking had never been Jack’s forte. Instead, he nudged her arm, and when she looked up he offered her his coffee. “Here. I’m gonna find the facilities.”
***Carter smiled, and for a moment all the darkness of the past few days faded away. He felt a burst of optimism, shaking him wide-awake like good, strong coffee.
***His eyes fixed on Sam, and something significant passed between them. A question asked, and an answer given. Daniel glanced from one to the other, trying to figure out what was going on.
***Behind him, he sensed Jack enter the room, radiating tension in waves. Daniel glanced up and saw his friend staring at Sam with an inscrutable intensity. “Carter.” It wasn’t a bark, but somehow it sounded like an order.
***“Doesn’t matter how,” Jack interjected. “We just need you to fix it and get us outta here.” His words were abrupt, with no concession to Sam’s obviously fragile state. But the gentle way he continued to clean her face belied his brusqueness; it was a tenderness Daniel found difficult to witness.
***“Colonel O’Neill said you had a tough time,” she (Janet) commented mildly, lifting Sam’s shirt to expose the bandaged wound beneath her collarbone. “If you want to talk about it…?”. “The Colonel said that?” For some reason, it surprised her. He had his own problems. “He’s worried about you.”
***“But it’s got nothing to do with Carter, leaver her out of it.” Crawford’s smile returned and he took a step forward, eyes coming to rest on Carter as tough seeing her for the first time. “Leave her out of it? Would that make things easier for you, Jack?” He said no more. He’d already said too much.
***They did the same to Carter, who was watching them all with guarded trepidation. He shared it and edged closer, letting his elbows nudge hers. Okay? She looked over and gave a slight nod in reply to his silent question.
***A savage blow to the head dropped him to his knees. “Sir!” Sam spun around, trying to protect him from another blow. –snip- The soldier raised his weapon again. “No!” she yelled, forcing herself between him and the Colonel.
***“Please,” she said, “help him.” Kenna fixed his gaze on Damaris as he said, “Chief, call a Medic.” Then he pulled a cloth from his pocket, walked down the steps from the gate and handed it to Sam. Carefully, she pressed it against the Colonel’s bleeding head.
***Letting out a slow, steadying breath, Sam returned her attention to the Colonel. To her surprise, his eyes were open and they met hers with dour understanding; Sam had no doubt their minds were running parallel.
***Breathing heavily, he glared back at her. “What?”.
“You’re wrong. Because if you hadn’t taken those plans, if you hadn’t done everything you could to bring SG-10 home, then-“ She stopped herself, habitual restraint holding her back. Damn it, just say it.
“Then what?” Beneath the angry rasp there was a plea, a need to hear some vindication after all. It was enough to keep her talking. “Then you wouldn’t be the man I thought you were. Sir.” He shook his head. “Carter, I’m not-“. “Yes,” she insisted quietly. “You are.” He stared at her, a silent interrogation, digging for a truth she couldn’t admit. Not even to herself.
***Despondently, she turned toward the door and her own room –cell- but he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “No, stay. I’ll take first watch.” She almost smiled at the guarded look in his eyes. “Yes, sir.” Close, but not too close; it epitomized so much about their complex friendship.
***A bleak smile twisted her lips, and then the door swung open. Jack held her gaze for a beat longer, watching her fear knot itself into courage. There is no courage without fear.
***The panic he’d sensed in her earlier had been blasted away like cobwebs, replaced by the gritty resilience he’d so long admired.
***Truth was, going back for Carter would be insane. Kenna was no fool –snip- He’d be waiting for them, a spider in the web. And Carter was the bait. –snip- They had no supplies, no backup, no ammo. No water. Daniel was injured, they were all exhausted.
***Despondently, she turned toward the door and her own room –cell- but he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “No, stay. I’ll take first watch.” She almost smiled at the guarded look in his eyes. “Yes, sir.” Close, but not too close; it epitomized so much about their complex friendship.
***A bleak smile twisted her lips, and then the door swung open. Jack held her gaze for a beat longer, watching her fear knot itself into courage. There is no courage without fear.
***The panic he’d sensed in her earlier had been blasted away like cobwebs, replaced by the gritty resilience he’d so long admired.
***Truth was, going back for Carter would be insane. Kenna was no fool –snip- He’d be waiting for them, a spider in the web. And Carter was the bait. –snip- They had no supplies, no backup, no ammo. No water. Daniel was injured, they were all exhausted.
The whole damn Kinahhi military were after them and in less than half an hour they’d have no way off the ******* planet. Retreat and regroup. It was the only strategy that made sense. But it’s Carter. (Could he leave her behind.) No never.
***“But it’s Sam!”. “I know!” His voice cracked as he spat the words, and for an instant Daniel glimpsed what lay beneath: a blizzard of self-recrimination, pain, loss, duty and honor.
***Teal'c insisted. “We shall return in greater numbers and free her.” Jack gave a short, tight nod. “The *******s won’t know what hit them.” But they were only words, a hollow reassurance. Daniel could see the truth in his friend’s empty eyes; Jack believed they were leaving Sam to die. And it was tearing him apart.
***“But it’s Sam!”. “I know!” His voice cracked as he spat the words, and for an instant Daniel glimpsed what lay beneath: a blizzard of self-recrimination, pain, loss, duty and honor.
***Teal'c insisted. “We shall return in greater numbers and free her.” Jack gave a short, tight nod. “The *******s won’t know what hit them.” But they were only words, a hollow reassurance. Daniel could see the truth in his friend’s empty eyes; Jack believed they were leaving Sam to die. And it was tearing him apart.
***“You seek to retrieve Major Carter?” he (Kenna) sneered. “It’s a fool’s errand. She is already dead.” Jack went very, very still. When he spoke, his voice sounded like steel rasping against steel. “What?”
***“Sonofa*****!” Jack was across the room in two strides, launching himself at the Kinahhi soldier. The water cup went flying, and Jack landed a solid punch on the man’s jaw, sending him sprawling onto his back. “You sonofa-". “O’Neill!” Teal’c darted forward, hauling Jack off of the man.
***“You should have killed her when you had the chance,” Kenna taunted, beginning to circle Jack. “Spared her the suffering. Allowed her to die as a human being, not an animal. Not screaming like an animal-“ Pushing past Teal’c in a flash, Jack landed another blow, sending Kenna stumbling backward.
***He (Kenna) lashed out, but Jack was faster, grabbing the front of the man’s shirt and slamming him hard against the wall. “You *******,” he snarled, breathing hard. He’s going to kill him… “Jack!”
***He backed off, sucking in a shaking, furious breath. “You killed her.” His words were molten with rage.
***“I (Kenna) was not speaking the whole truth –snip-. She still lived when I last saw her.” His fingers clamped around the doorframe as the world spun in giddy relief. He said nothing, couldn’t find his voice, just stared, demanding more.
***Jack was breathing hard, as though he’d just run 10 klicks. “What did she say?”
***“O’Neill, you must be prepared. Much might have changed. The Kaw’ree intended to reintegrate her into the sheh-fet.”. “Screw them, whoever they are.” He jumped up into the ship. “Carter’s alive. I know it.”
***“Carter?” The Colonel was gaping in astonishment, as if she were a ghost or a figment of his imagination. “Yes, sir. It’s me.” For a moment he just stared. “I’ve, um…” And then he shook himself, hiding everything behind an arid smile. “We’ve come to rescue you.”
***She was up ahead now, deep in conversation with Daniel. Jack let them talk, happy to hang back. What did he have to say to her anyway? Not much that was fit for public consumption, and as for the rest… There was a time and a place, and this definitely wasn’t it. She was alive; that would have to be enough for now.
***Behind him Carter shrieked, a nerve-shredding repetition of her howl in the sheh-fet. Jack’s resolution wavered; they were killing her! He took a step closer, keeping a tight rein on his anger. “Stop,” he growled at Koash. “Stop right now, or I swear to God I’ll kill you.”
***“You will not risk her.” A sly smile touched the man’s pallid features. “I have seen your mind, Colonel O’Neill. Albeit briefly. You would rather die than-“ In two bounds Jack was up on the dais with the muzzle of the Kinahhi rifle pressed against the man’s thin chest. “Actually, I’d rather you die.”
***Jack stared back at him, the man’s cold words stuck like a blade of ice in his chest. She’s already dead. His weapon fell to his side. “Why?”. “Have mercy…”. “You killed her!” Koash’s eyes were stark with horror. He knew the truth; he knew he’d find no mercy. Not after that, not ever. Jack turned his head and listened to the man scream until the end.
***“Sir…?” It was Sam, sounding groggy as Teal’c helped her to sit up. She rubbed her hands over her temples, shaking her head. “It’s so quiet.”. “It’s gone.” For a moment it looked like Jack might reach out and touch the fading marks on her cheek. But he didn’t.
***“I’m telling you,” Sam growled, “if he brings Crawford back alive, I’m first in line to kick his ass.” Daniel cast her a wry glance. “Crawford’s, or Jack’s?” Her eyes narrowed. “Both.”
***Hope beat painfully in her chest, the wind in her face making her eyes stream. Even if it had been put there deliberately, anyone could have done it. The odds of it being the Colonel..
***A familiar head peered out from behind a splintered edge of glass. He waved. He waved! “Colonel!” Sam yelled in triumph. The relief was so intense she almost sagged under its weight. He was alive!
***A Kinahhi ship spun past them, flame blazing from its tail until it drowned in the ocean. “We cannot win this!” The Commander insisted, turning now to Major Carter. “Would you sacrifice us all for the sake of one man?” From the corner of his eye, Teal’c saw Major Carter shrink from the question. A moment of self-doubt clouded her features, but soon resolve returned. “We don’t leave our people behind, Commander.”
***“I don’t think so, son,” Hammond said kindly, but then his face hardened. “Major Carter will also be reprimanded, but no other action will be taken. Dr. Jackson and Teal’c have been officially reinstated to the SGC.”.
***“Sonofa*****!” Jack was across the room in two strides, launching himself at the Kinahhi soldier. The water cup went flying, and Jack landed a solid punch on the man’s jaw, sending him sprawling onto his back. “You sonofa-". “O’Neill!” Teal’c darted forward, hauling Jack off of the man.
***“You should have killed her when you had the chance,” Kenna taunted, beginning to circle Jack. “Spared her the suffering. Allowed her to die as a human being, not an animal. Not screaming like an animal-“ Pushing past Teal’c in a flash, Jack landed another blow, sending Kenna stumbling backward.
***He (Kenna) lashed out, but Jack was faster, grabbing the front of the man’s shirt and slamming him hard against the wall. “You *******,” he snarled, breathing hard. He’s going to kill him… “Jack!”
***He backed off, sucking in a shaking, furious breath. “You killed her.” His words were molten with rage.
***“I (Kenna) was not speaking the whole truth –snip-. She still lived when I last saw her.” His fingers clamped around the doorframe as the world spun in giddy relief. He said nothing, couldn’t find his voice, just stared, demanding more.
***Jack was breathing hard, as though he’d just run 10 klicks. “What did she say?”
***“O’Neill, you must be prepared. Much might have changed. The Kaw’ree intended to reintegrate her into the sheh-fet.”. “Screw them, whoever they are.” He jumped up into the ship. “Carter’s alive. I know it.”
***“Carter?” The Colonel was gaping in astonishment, as if she were a ghost or a figment of his imagination. “Yes, sir. It’s me.” For a moment he just stared. “I’ve, um…” And then he shook himself, hiding everything behind an arid smile. “We’ve come to rescue you.”
***She was up ahead now, deep in conversation with Daniel. Jack let them talk, happy to hang back. What did he have to say to her anyway? Not much that was fit for public consumption, and as for the rest… There was a time and a place, and this definitely wasn’t it. She was alive; that would have to be enough for now.
***Behind him Carter shrieked, a nerve-shredding repetition of her howl in the sheh-fet. Jack’s resolution wavered; they were killing her! He took a step closer, keeping a tight rein on his anger. “Stop,” he growled at Koash. “Stop right now, or I swear to God I’ll kill you.”
***“You will not risk her.” A sly smile touched the man’s pallid features. “I have seen your mind, Colonel O’Neill. Albeit briefly. You would rather die than-“ In two bounds Jack was up on the dais with the muzzle of the Kinahhi rifle pressed against the man’s thin chest. “Actually, I’d rather you die.”
***Jack stared back at him, the man’s cold words stuck like a blade of ice in his chest. She’s already dead. His weapon fell to his side. “Why?”. “Have mercy…”. “You killed her!” Koash’s eyes were stark with horror. He knew the truth; he knew he’d find no mercy. Not after that, not ever. Jack turned his head and listened to the man scream until the end.
***“Sir…?” It was Sam, sounding groggy as Teal’c helped her to sit up. She rubbed her hands over her temples, shaking her head. “It’s so quiet.”. “It’s gone.” For a moment it looked like Jack might reach out and touch the fading marks on her cheek. But he didn’t.
***“I’m telling you,” Sam growled, “if he brings Crawford back alive, I’m first in line to kick his ass.” Daniel cast her a wry glance. “Crawford’s, or Jack’s?” Her eyes narrowed. “Both.”
***Hope beat painfully in her chest, the wind in her face making her eyes stream. Even if it had been put there deliberately, anyone could have done it. The odds of it being the Colonel..
***A familiar head peered out from behind a splintered edge of glass. He waved. He waved! “Colonel!” Sam yelled in triumph. The relief was so intense she almost sagged under its weight. He was alive!
***A Kinahhi ship spun past them, flame blazing from its tail until it drowned in the ocean. “We cannot win this!” The Commander insisted, turning now to Major Carter. “Would you sacrifice us all for the sake of one man?” From the corner of his eye, Teal’c saw Major Carter shrink from the question. A moment of self-doubt clouded her features, but soon resolve returned. “We don’t leave our people behind, Commander.”
***“I don’t think so, son,” Hammond said kindly, but then his face hardened. “Major Carter will also be reprimanded, but no other action will be taken. Dr. Jackson and Teal’c have been officially reinstated to the SGC.”.
“Carter doesn’t deserve-“.
“Doesn’t she?” Hammond fixed him with a steady look. “She knew the orders were illegal, Jack, but her personal loyalty to you led her astray. You need to ensure she’s not put in that position again. Do you understand me?”.
“Yes, sir.” On every level. Sometimes life was damn complicated, especially where Carter was concerned.
*shippy sigh*
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