I strongly encourage you when you like the shippy bits to go out and buy the book!
'She' is always Sam and 'he' is always Jack unless stated otherwise by me.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp, Double Secret Productions and Showtime.
Novel A Matter of Honor written by Sally Malcolm
***She glanced at Jack for a moment, seeking his approval. He gave a shrug, willing to go along with whatever she had in mind.
***“The technology interests you?” Quadesh pressed, his strange amber eyes sliding over Carter in a way Jack tried to ignore. Carter, he knew, could take care of herself. Still…
***“Major Carter?” A hand touched her wrist. It was Quadesh. He had stopped next to the metal archway she’d noticed earlier, and was watching her with an intense scrutiny that was unsettling. –snip- “And what would that be? Exactly.” The Colonel inserted himself between them, imbuing his light tone with just enough threat to cause Quadesh to drop her wrist and back off.
***The Colonel squared his shoulders and stepped forward. He would go through first, of course. She wondered if he was even conscious of these subtle acts of bravery, or if they were so ingrained into who he was that they were as natural to him as breathing. Either way, she noticed. Always had.
***When she looked over at him he gave her a frustrated frown. “Maybe we can trade for it?” His mind had obviously been following hers, as it so often did.
***Carter nodded dutifully, but he wasn’t entirely convinced she shared his sentiment. Her attention drifted and she absently gazed up at the tops of the buildings that surrounded them. A speculative light danced through the shifting greens and blues of her eyes, lending them a luster that was- Not something he should be noticing.
***“Major Carter made a mistake.” Teal’c turned slightly and saw O’Neill standing with his back to him, still kicking irritably at the wall. “Mistakes can be forgiven.” O’Neill turned, eyeing him warily. “You think I’m being too hard on her?” Choosing not to answer directly, he decided on a more oblique response. “I believe you suspect that Major Carter’s decision was not entirely objective. Perhaps you should examine your response in a similar light?”
***Jack eased himself back into the seat and cast half a glance at Carter. Teal’c’s words still lingered in his mind, illuminating his own actions with a clarity that made him wince. She’d only wanted to protect him and he’d bitten her head off –snip-. Except, he knew he’d have done the same thing for her.
***“The technology interests you?” Quadesh pressed, his strange amber eyes sliding over Carter in a way Jack tried to ignore. Carter, he knew, could take care of herself. Still…
***“Major Carter?” A hand touched her wrist. It was Quadesh. He had stopped next to the metal archway she’d noticed earlier, and was watching her with an intense scrutiny that was unsettling. –snip- “And what would that be? Exactly.” The Colonel inserted himself between them, imbuing his light tone with just enough threat to cause Quadesh to drop her wrist and back off.
***The Colonel squared his shoulders and stepped forward. He would go through first, of course. She wondered if he was even conscious of these subtle acts of bravery, or if they were so ingrained into who he was that they were as natural to him as breathing. Either way, she noticed. Always had.
***When she looked over at him he gave her a frustrated frown. “Maybe we can trade for it?” His mind had obviously been following hers, as it so often did.
***Carter nodded dutifully, but he wasn’t entirely convinced she shared his sentiment. Her attention drifted and she absently gazed up at the tops of the buildings that surrounded them. A speculative light danced through the shifting greens and blues of her eyes, lending them a luster that was- Not something he should be noticing.
***“Major Carter made a mistake.” Teal’c turned slightly and saw O’Neill standing with his back to him, still kicking irritably at the wall. “Mistakes can be forgiven.” O’Neill turned, eyeing him warily. “You think I’m being too hard on her?” Choosing not to answer directly, he decided on a more oblique response. “I believe you suspect that Major Carter’s decision was not entirely objective. Perhaps you should examine your response in a similar light?”
***Jack eased himself back into the seat and cast half a glance at Carter. Teal’c’s words still lingered in his mind, illuminating his own actions with a clarity that made him wince. She’d only wanted to protect him and he’d bitten her head off –snip-. Except, he knew he’d have done the same thing for her.
For any of them. And so would she. Which wasn’t exactly the problem. What was okay for Daniel and Teal’c didn’t wash for Colonel O’Neill or Major Carter.
There had to be a distance between them, they had to be careful. They had always been so careful, especially Carter. But this…? He’d had no choice but to yank her back into line, however hypocritical he felt. –snip- But he still wanted to make things right. He hated this tension. He just didn’t know how to begin with Cater – he never had.
***Major Carter, who had been much closer to the blast, sprawled motionless some feet away. –snip- There was no response. Lowering his (Teal’c) cheek to her lips he felt a faint puff of breath against his face. As he (Teal’c) straightened he saw O’Neill, frozen halfway to his feet, staring at them with scarcely concealed panic. “She lives,” Teal’c said.
***“Make sure you tell him,” Janet insisted, waving vaguely toward the door. “He’s been…hovering.” The doctor lifted an eyebrow and Sam found herself studying the weave of the hospital blanket.
***“No one knows about this,” he said. “And neither would you, if I had a choice. But you’re the only one who has a chance of making sense of it.” Sam reached across the bench, but as her fingers touched the foil his hand closed over hers. “If you open it, then you know. You don’t have to, this isn’t an order. It’s not official. It’s your choice, Carter.”
***“Carter?”.
***Major Carter, who had been much closer to the blast, sprawled motionless some feet away. –snip- There was no response. Lowering his (Teal’c) cheek to her lips he felt a faint puff of breath against his face. As he (Teal’c) straightened he saw O’Neill, frozen halfway to his feet, staring at them with scarcely concealed panic. “She lives,” Teal’c said.
***“Make sure you tell him,” Janet insisted, waving vaguely toward the door. “He’s been…hovering.” The doctor lifted an eyebrow and Sam found herself studying the weave of the hospital blanket.
***“No one knows about this,” he said. “And neither would you, if I had a choice. But you’re the only one who has a chance of making sense of it.” Sam reached across the bench, but as her fingers touched the foil his hand closed over hers. “If you open it, then you know. You don’t have to, this isn’t an order. It’s not official. It’s your choice, Carter.”
***“Carter?”.
“Sir?”.
“I understand why you didn’t tell me about Baal.” She winced; the less said about that the better. But he wasn’t finished. “I appreciate it, but it can’t happen again.”.
“It won’t,” she promised. “I’m sorry Sir.” He nodded slightly. “Me too.”
***He nodded, studying his folded hands. “Her (Damaris) and Crawford. They’re up to something. I can smell it.” A nervous laugh escaped. “That could be Daniel’s feet, Sir.” The joke didn’t do much to ease the tension, but at least it provoked a brief smile. He looked up, gratitude and something warmer shining in his eyes.
***Professionalism was what he’d demanded from her. And yet a part of him regretted her discretion; a part that needed a reassuring smile; a part he routinely ignored.
***“We’ll be right behind you, sir.” Carter’s glance spoke volumes. She might not be able to say it, but he knew what she meant – this time I’ll be there for you.
***“Looks like Yu did a pretty thorough job on the place, Sir.”.
***Professionalism was what he’d demanded from her. And yet a part of him regretted her discretion; a part that needed a reassuring smile; a part he routinely ignored.
***“We’ll be right behind you, sir.” Carter’s glance spoke volumes. She might not be able to say it, but he knew what she meant – this time I’ll be there for you.
***“Looks like Yu did a pretty thorough job on the place, Sir.”.
“I can’t take all the credit, Carter.” She resisted the temptation to roll her eyes at the old joke. Given where they were, and what had happened here, even his lamest wise-crack was welcome.
***His (Teal’c) only response was the doubtful lift of an eyebrow. On occasion, Major Carter could be as stubbornly optimistic as O’Neill himself.
***Jack watched as Carter hit the floor. The zat blast caught her in the back and she fell like a stone, cracking her head and lying motionless as the blue light danced across her body. –snip- Jack felt his stomach dissolve – snip-.
***His (Teal’c) only response was the doubtful lift of an eyebrow. On occasion, Major Carter could be as stubbornly optimistic as O’Neill himself.
***Jack watched as Carter hit the floor. The zat blast caught her in the back and she fell like a stone, cracking her head and lying motionless as the blue light danced across her body. –snip- Jack felt his stomach dissolve – snip-.
“Jack we have to go,” Daniel whispered urgently, pulling on his arm. “I’ve got Sam’s pack.”.
“And they’ve got Carter!”
***Jack’s mind was red with panic. “We can’t let Carter fall into Baal’s hands!” Acid, daggers, cold white death again and again…Never. “We can’t….” –snip- But would he blow her brains out to save her from the same nightmare? His weapon dipped. He’d killed her before, once. He knew he could do it. He’d killed her to save her.
***The image of Carter’s body, sprawled lifelessly on the floor, bled into his mind. But he pushed it away. He refused to think about where she was, what they were doing to her.
***Jack’s mind was red with panic. “We can’t let Carter fall into Baal’s hands!” Acid, daggers, cold white death again and again…Never. “We can’t….” –snip- But would he blow her brains out to save her from the same nightmare? His weapon dipped. He’d killed her before, once. He knew he could do it. He’d killed her to save her.
***The image of Carter’s body, sprawled lifelessly on the floor, bled into his mind. But he pushed it away. He refused to think about where she was, what they were doing to her.
He couldn’t bear to; it threatened to cut the last few strands binding body and soul together. – snip- The canteen in his hand was shaking so hard water was dripping from his fingers. Not just his hand, he realized. His whole body.
***He was thinking about Carter, and getting her the hell out of there before they flung her against the damn spider web that sucked you down into- Damn it! Think of something else. Cold beer. His dock, at dusk. Fishing. Fishing with-
***“Your friends have abandoned you,” a voice announced –snip- “You are alone here.”.
***He was thinking about Carter, and getting her the hell out of there before they flung her against the damn spider web that sucked you down into- Damn it! Think of something else. Cold beer. His dock, at dusk. Fishing. Fishing with-
***“Your friends have abandoned you,” a voice announced –snip- “You are alone here.”.
“Haven’t caught them yet, huh?” Her bright, spirited response danced through the darkness and filled Jack’s heart with pride.
***A single Jaffa stood there, face obscured by his helmet. He seemed to be staring at her.
“Ya’ol’wa?” demanded Hadat. Abruptly, and with a swiftness and economy of movement that seemed familiar, the newcomer raised a hand and pointed. “Jaffa.” – snip- The helmeted head nodded and said something else. Sam wasn’t sure, but it sounded a lot like ‘cappuccino’. She watched with hope beating hard in her throat. That voice, the way he moved…
***Her rescuer was just staring at her, as if transfixed. Sam stared back, half-delerious with relief and adrenaline, her mind running in circles. A laugh, lurking on the borders of hysteria, bubbled up as words sprang unbidden to her lips. “Aren’t you a little short for a Jaffa?” It broke the moment, and in a flurry of movement the helmet retreated into the armor to reveal Colonel O’Neill.
***“Carter.” It was little more than a hearfelt murmur –snip- Compassion, dismay, relief and other, less defined emotions, darted across his guarded features as he drew nearer. “I should have gotten here sooner.”
***“Carter?”.
***Her rescuer was just staring at her, as if transfixed. Sam stared back, half-delerious with relief and adrenaline, her mind running in circles. A laugh, lurking on the borders of hysteria, bubbled up as words sprang unbidden to her lips. “Aren’t you a little short for a Jaffa?” It broke the moment, and in a flurry of movement the helmet retreated into the armor to reveal Colonel O’Neill.
***“Carter.” It was little more than a hearfelt murmur –snip- Compassion, dismay, relief and other, less defined emotions, darted across his guarded features as he drew nearer. “I should have gotten here sooner.”
***“Carter?”.
“I promised myself I’d kick his ass to hell.” She sounded positively icy, so restrained she might as well have been still pinned against the gravity wall. Jack shifted, uncomfortable with seeing so much of himself in that oh-so controlled demeanor.
***Thank God. O’Neill loosened his hold on her arm, but didn’t speak or let go.
***“I should have gotten to you sooner,” he muttered as he slid the bandage under her shirt and around her shoulder, binding it tight enough to staunch the bleeding. He felt guilty? –snip-
***Thank God. O’Neill loosened his hold on her arm, but didn’t speak or let go.
***“I should have gotten to you sooner,” he muttered as he slid the bandage under her shirt and around her shoulder, binding it tight enough to staunch the bleeding. He felt guilty? –snip-
“Don’t.” Jaw clenched, he stared at the needle for a moment. Far away. Sam closed her eyes. –snip- “Sir, I wish-“. “Don’t,” he said again, more softly this time.
***“Thanks, sir.” Half a smile touched his tense face. “For the shot?”. “For coming after me.” He stood, hefting his vast and stuffing the med-kit back into a pocket, once more avoiding her gaze.
***“Thanks, sir.” Half a smile touched his tense face. “For the shot?”. “For coming after me.” He stood, hefting his vast and stuffing the med-kit back into a pocket, once more avoiding her gaze.
“What else was I gonna do, Carter. Run away and leave you here?” It told her more about what he’d suffered here than anything else. That he’d come after her anyway, despite the demons riding him, reminded her that nothing she felt about this man’s courage and loyalty was unwarranted.
***He’d rarely seen her so on edge. Not that he blamed her. The image of her plastered across the landscape of his own nightmare lurked dangerously in the back on his mind.
***All she could think about was how many times it had dropped and burned into the colonel. How many times he’d screamed. And how she hadn’t been there to save him. Not one time. It made her want to howl with rage, at herself and the ******* who had tortured him. – snip – She was angry. Angry at what the colonel had endured.
***Jack was faster. Tackling her with a move worthy of the NFL, he brought them both crashing back to their knees. Pain exploded in his right knee and he cursed a blue-streak, but he didn’t let go. One arm clamped around her chest, the other around her midriff, he pinned her arms to her sides. “Don’t!” he yelled around the pain. “Carter, stop!”
***Her whole body went rigid, and Jack could feel her gasps against his chest. –snip- “It’s wasn’t him, Carter,” he said quietly, close to her ear. “He didn’t hurt you.” Breaths still coming fast and shallow, she shook her head and stared at the ground. Striving for control. When she spoke, her voice shook.
***He’d rarely seen her so on edge. Not that he blamed her. The image of her plastered across the landscape of his own nightmare lurked dangerously in the back on his mind.
***All she could think about was how many times it had dropped and burned into the colonel. How many times he’d screamed. And how she hadn’t been there to save him. Not one time. It made her want to howl with rage, at herself and the ******* who had tortured him. – snip – She was angry. Angry at what the colonel had endured.
***Jack was faster. Tackling her with a move worthy of the NFL, he brought them both crashing back to their knees. Pain exploded in his right knee and he cursed a blue-streak, but he didn’t let go. One arm clamped around her chest, the other around her midriff, he pinned her arms to her sides. “Don’t!” he yelled around the pain. “Carter, stop!”
***Her whole body went rigid, and Jack could feel her gasps against his chest. –snip- “It’s wasn’t him, Carter,” he said quietly, close to her ear. “He didn’t hurt you.” Breaths still coming fast and shallow, she shook her head and stared at the ground. Striving for control. When she spoke, her voice shook.
“What they did to you…” To me? – snip – Cold and weary, he released her. She sagged away from him, hands coming to rest on the ground, head bowed. Her back rose and fell as she sucked in shaking breaths. “It’s over, Sam,” he told her softly. “Let it go.”
***“Oh God. A hand pressed over her mouth. “Oh, my God.” Silently, Jack reached out and turned her away, his gaze meeting Daniel’s in a mute appeal for help. He couldn’t handle this; it struck way too close to home. From the compassionate look on Daniel’s face, he suspected that he knew all about it.
***She couldn’t hold on. She was sliding, falling… She screamed out her anger and terror. “NO!” A shadow passed overhead. “Carter!” someone yelled frantically. – snip- Jack’s heart dropped with her. “Carter!”
***Carter sat propped up against a wall, pasty white and choking up dust. But alive. Very much alive. He sank down at her side, reaching for her shoulder and struggling for detachment. When he spoke, his voice was ragged. “Carter?” She nodded, catching her breath, I’m fine. But it had been a close call. His hand tightened reflexively on her arm. Way too close.
***“You okay?” he asked softly. She offered him a faint smile, a flash of white through the dirt that covered her face. “Much better, sir.” He nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
***She leaned closer and traced a finger down the smooth metal surface of the device. “Wow, it’s so small.”. “Well, you know what they say,” Jack muttered. “It’s how you use it that counts.” A smile and a hint of color touched Sam’s face.
***“Oh God. A hand pressed over her mouth. “Oh, my God.” Silently, Jack reached out and turned her away, his gaze meeting Daniel’s in a mute appeal for help. He couldn’t handle this; it struck way too close to home. From the compassionate look on Daniel’s face, he suspected that he knew all about it.
***She couldn’t hold on. She was sliding, falling… She screamed out her anger and terror. “NO!” A shadow passed overhead. “Carter!” someone yelled frantically. – snip- Jack’s heart dropped with her. “Carter!”
***Carter sat propped up against a wall, pasty white and choking up dust. But alive. Very much alive. He sank down at her side, reaching for her shoulder and struggling for detachment. When he spoke, his voice was ragged. “Carter?” She nodded, catching her breath, I’m fine. But it had been a close call. His hand tightened reflexively on her arm. Way too close.
***“You okay?” he asked softly. She offered him a faint smile, a flash of white through the dirt that covered her face. “Much better, sir.” He nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
***She leaned closer and traced a finger down the smooth metal surface of the device. “Wow, it’s so small.”. “Well, you know what they say,” Jack muttered. “It’s how you use it that counts.” A smile and a hint of color touched Sam’s face.
*shippy sigh*
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