My Skin

Maybe this is a tale - maybe this is reality. It's been so long but when you look at me, I remember. Your eyes draw me in, as you tease me.

Not to be known, not to be shared but maybe they do know.

I'm giving them enough to make them wonder. And I know when we gaze at each other for a little too long, we should look away but isn't that part of the game?

Take a look at my body, look at my hands


The sun is shining upon me, in this wide open field. People are laughing, teasing, having fun. Do they know that life's too short? Or are they just playing along?

I let myself fall to the ground, the grass tickling my bare legs and arms. And as I lay on my back I look up to the clear blue sky. And I feel broken, yet needed and wanted. But aren't we all?

There's so much here, I don't understand
I've been treated so wrong, I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable


The sun is slightly burning me but I don't care. A bird soars the blue sky and I smile and it fools me. I hear footsteps nearing me and I know. I just know, it's you. Opening my eyes, I gaze back at your teasing yet questioning gaze. You run your hand through your hair; like a little tomboy and I love it.

Gracefull like a cat, you lay yourself down next to me with a smile that brightens my world.

O, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this


I turn my head away from the sun only to see it reflected in yours. You give a shy smile and I grin back. I reach out and softly tickle your neck, your chest and your laugh fills me up.

I need to feel your hand upon my face
I think I might have inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you floating in me


Not caring about the people around us we give into 'need' and not into 'want'.

You start tickling the backside of my knees, even though we don't really know each other that long but you remembered how much I love it. And suddenly the world stopped turning.

There was only you and me. Brown eyes reflecting. And you bent down and kissed me - your lips oh so softly and I know you felt me smile against yours.

I think I might have inhaled you.

Life's too short.

Numquom Periit Amor

Love stares back at me - eyes twinkling, asking. 

But it is a dangerous love.

A touch here and there, a soft kiss; a feel.

Not to be known, not to be seen.

A secret love.

Can we hide our little secret? Or will they know?

Are they watching us? Or do they turn a blind eye?

Keeping our masks on at day, we slip them off at night.

Slowly, daring, lovingly; caressing, a fleeting kiss.

And it burns but if feels so good

Not to be known, not to be seen.

Will they know as we gaze at each other?

For just a little too long; an understanding passing between us

You ask me; love in your eyes and it is reflected by mine

They never have to know

But I wonder.....

Letting Go

Our hands clasped together

Our fingers entwined

You always brought a smile to my face

I always protected you no matter what

But I was holding on to a ghost

I felt you slipping away

There's nothing left here for you

You told me you were slowly going insane

You didn't want to fly anymore

And I tried my best

But my best wasn't good enough

I'll remember your smile and the twinkle in your eyes

I'll let you go now even though my heart's breaking

Little sis, I'll always love you

Life was too much for you

But you were always smiling

We'll meet again

In this life or the next

Goodbye

Your big sis,

Lena

Counting Bodies Like Sheep

Don't fret precious I'm here

Step away from the window

Go back to sleep

Lay your head down child

I won't let the boogeyman come

Count the bodies like sheep

To the rhythm of the war drums

Pay no mind what other voices say

They don't care about you

Like I do

Safe from pain, and truth, and choice

And other poisoned devils

See, they don't give a fuck about you

Like I do

Just stay with me

Safe and ignorant

Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep

To the rhythm of the war drums

I'll be the one to protect you
From your enemies and your demons
I'll be the one to protect you 
From a will to survive and a voice of reason

I must isolate you
Isolate and save you from yourself

Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep

To the rhythm of the war drums

Counting bodies like sheep

To the rhythm of the war drums

Swaying to the rhythm of the new world order


THINK!

"To conquer" doesn't equal "to have power over"

Some women should understand that conquering a man doesn't equal; having power over them. 


Enablers. Guarding their men like watchdogs, not letting go, ordering them around to lap at their feet. To kneel. Hawking them, leeching them but the men are none the wiser.


And for what? For love? For friendship? Because they are a parent? A relative?


It's not an excuse. It never is.


Sad. 


Get up off your knees, take a look around and see who and what they really are.

You don't know remember my name

I don't really care

Can we play the game your way?

Can I really lose control?

Just once in my life

I think it'd be nice

Just to lose control, just once

With all the pretty flowers in the dust

Mary had a lamb

His eyes black as coal

If we play very quiet, my lamb

Mary never has to know

If I cut you down to a thing I can use

I fear there will be nothing good left of you

- Evenescence

Wise quotes from Oma Desala

The Universe is vast and we are small. There is really only one thing we can ever truly control...whether we are good or evil.


Though the river tells no lies, the dishonest standing on the shore, still hears them.


The success or failure of your deeds, does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intentions of your actions, and by the strength with which you faced the challenges that have stood in your way.


You cannot tell the depth of the river, until you see the bottom.


The true nature of a man is decided in the battle between his conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious.


The evil within is too strong to defeat, the only way to win is to deny it battle.

You talk too much

Or maybe that's your way

Of breaking up the sounds 

That fills you up

But it doesn't sound the same

When no one's really listening

We stumble into our lives

Reach for a hand to hold

And any wonder

We need to find

A certain something

Turn out the light and what are you left with?

Open up my hands and find that they're empty

Press my face to the ground

I've gotta find a reason

Just scratching around

For something to believe in

You have too much

You're spending all your time

Collecting and discovering

It's not enough

And no matter how you try

You never find the one you want

-Something to believe in

Metalingus

I've been defeated and brought down

Dropped to my knees when hope ran out

The time has come to change my ways

On this day I see clearly

Everything has come to life

A bitter place and a broken dream

And we'll leave it all behind

I'll never long for what might have been

Regret won't waste my life again

I won't look back

I'll fight to remain

On this day it's so real to me

Everything has come to life

Another chance to chase a dream

Another chance to feel alive

-Metalingus

Nothing Else Matters

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters

I never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way

All these words I don't just say

Yeah, trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

And I know

Never cared for things they say

Never cared for games they play

I never cared for what they do

I never cared for what they know

And I know

-Nothing Else Matters

Stripped

Come with me

Into the trees

We'll lay on the grass

And let the hours pass

Take my hand

Come back to the land

Let's get away

Just for one day

Let me see you

Stripped down to the bone

Let me hear you crying 

Just for me

-Stripped

I'm Alive

I'm still alive

But can not apologize

So silent

No violence

But inside my head

So loud and clear

Come fire

Let it burn

And love come racing through

I've learned to lose

I've learned to win

I've turned my face against the wind

I will move fast

I will move slow

Take me where I have to go

- I'm still Alive

Some songs stick with ya =)

I'll be posting a few posts with songs and their lyrics that have a special meaning to me....

Out of time, I hear your voice

Break through the noise

And pain

My heart's refrain

Why can't I convince myself

That this is the right time

To contend

Will you please ease my pain

Break the tide that's pushing you

Outside the place you're safe

Don't pretend

Ask my eyes 

Protect my gaze

As the light makes the day

I pray

Will you please ease my pain

- Ease My Pain

Stargate SG-1 Sam and Jack

I'm in the mood for some Sam and Jack quotes :p


As many of you know, I'm a sci-fi fan. Always have been, always will be. I grew up with Star Trek The Original Series when I was very young, too young to understand it all but somehow it crept into my soul and I kept watching The Next Generation until I grew into a young lady and teenaged through Voyager.


So falling in love with Stargate SG-1 came naturally to me. I've been following them since day 1 and has been a part of my life for over 13 years now. The show is incredible, amazing actors, very strong story-line, good special effects - certainly for a TV show.


For some reason, I always find myself 'shipping' couples. Guess it's the romantic chick in me boiling to the surface =).


Sam and Jack have a very, very long relationship that can't happen because they're both in the Air Force and even more Sam is serving under his command which goes against frat rules if they consider having a romantic relationship. But as love goes, you can't help falling in love. And that is exactly what happens between Sam and Jack. 


They sacrifice their love for their duty. They both know they're in love and it's not just some fling. It's more than love. It's a bond they share, beyond death.


Both trying to fall in love with someone else, they find themselves failing each time. After eight long years they FINALLY let themselves pursue a relationship because for one - she's out of his chain of command and two - coming too close to losing each other too many times cleared their heads and they eventually listen to their hearts.


I do have to say, it's an angsty relationship. It's eight years filled with angsty love. Loving the other while knowing you can't have them. Knowing you can't love them, hold them.


It's true what they say: fear will bind you stronger than love. And having to share all this pain and trusting the other in constant combat, it translates in risking your own life for the other. Wanting to sacrifice your own life for the one you love.


It's - well - I'll let the quotes speak for themselves :) The pictures are random and don't go with the quotes but it shows how much one can say with only a look.

Sam Carter: I take it you're Colonel O'Neill? Captain Samantha Carter reporting Sir.

Jack O'Neill: Oh, here we go. Another scientist! General, please.

Sam Carter: Ya know, you really will like me once you get to know me.

Jack O'Neill: Oh, I adore you already Captain.

Janet Frasier: You miss him?

Sam Carter: Yeah.

Janet Frasier: Is this a problem?

Sam Carter: No! No of course not.

Jack O'Neill: I didn't leave - because I'd rather die myself than lose Carter.

Sam Carter: Yes Sir.

Jack O'Neill: Sir....

Sam Carter: Please...Jack.

Sam Carter: Thank you Sir.

Jack O'Neill: For what?

Sam Carter: For being here for me.

Jack O'Neill: Always.

Jack O'Neill: All right! What?

Teal'c: Major Carter felt a similar sense of frustration. She despaired of the thought of never seeing you again.

Jack O'Neill: Because I care about her - a lot more than I'm supposed to.

Kerry: Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you apart?

(after Sam's trapped behind a force-field and the ship's about to explode)

Sam Carter: Sir? You gotta get out of here.

Jack O'Neill: So do you.

Sam Carter: Sir.

(starts beating against the force-field)

Jack O'Neill: I know I know!

Sam Carter: Sir - just go.

Jack O'Neill: NO!

Portrayed by the wonderful Richard Dean Anderson and Amanda Tapping

For their talent and their good heart and beautiful soul

Peace and love

That's Miss Emily for you ^_^

Another beautiful sunny day; it's magic to my heart, my nose, my ears and my eyes. What little I need to make my heart flutter. To chase away the winter-bats and open up to summer-butterflies. If we could all just stand still, push out the worries of the world, take a deep breath and enjoy the slight, warm touches of the sun's rays. 


I was born in July and I will always be a child of the Summer. 


I recently moved to a bigger appartment. Not that it's THAT big, but it actually has room for me to sit outside with Emily and here are some pictures of her enjoying the sun.

Fail! LOL

Bioshocked

So I've played for six hours now. During those six hours I managed to get to the last level of Bioshock, cook dinner, eat and watch an episode of NCIS ^_^


Which brings me back to the subject of Bioshock being way too short. You pay a lot of money for it and you can actually finish it in one day. Don't get me wrong, I love Bioshock, but if you would compare it to Final Fantasy XIII which I'm at 70+ hours - it's not worth the amount of money.
, 
Sure, now the game is a lot cheaper so go out and buy it. Though what I do like better about this one compared to Bioshock 2 is the fact that you can backtrack. Visit all the previous levels and pick things up you might have missed. Or just go hunting for trophies, which I'll be doing when I finish it, so it has a replay value to it.


This is my fourth of fifth - I'm not sure - gameplay so that means a lot. Says a lot about the quality of the game. Not that I'm saying that the games I don't touch are bad per se, just the games in the genres that I play.


Even when I finish this playthrough, the game's gonna stay in my collection. It's got such a great atmosphere, wonderful level designs, amusing and quite interesting characters and a Hollywood-worthy story. One that I've touched upon in one of my previous blogs.


Bioshock 2, I'm not too sure I'll be keeping that one. I might let my dad have a go on it and as soon as he finishes the game, I'll go trophy hunting and will be selling it again. I'm sorry 2K, I love the effort and spirit you put into the game but it doesn't beat its first installment. 


Which is kinda sad. Look at Uncharted. It can be done.


So, finishing Bioshock tomorrow and do some trophy hunting and then I'm back on Final Fantasy XIII do to some more trophy hunting ^_^


Quote of the Day: Love is just a chemical, no matter the origin. We give it meaning by choice.

Oh my gawd o_O

After 2 hours and 41 minutes, the update has finally installed himself on my PS3!


Meanwhile I finished my ironing, read the last chapters of my latest book, watched an episode of Flikken Maastricht and cleaned the kitchen. *rolleyes*


Let's see if I can finish this Bioshock playthrough today as it's 16u43 
*rubs fingers and grabs PS3 controller*


Game on!

PS3 Updates and slow Internet connections

Couple of days ago, I re-started Bioshock to get the trophies that I wanted - and could get - to finally put this little baby away.


Lo-behold, I finished playing it in one day, made a proper new (read back-up) save and crushed the end-boss after doing so.


But wait! Instead of auto-saving on the last file, the PS3 saves OVER my back-up file, instantly deleting my whole playthrough.


Needless to say I was pretty damn pissed off.


He could pick from two files but no he HAD to screw up mine.


Not my sparkly black friend that evening.


So, anyway - because I'm such hardheaded and stubborn as hell - I decided to give it yet another, very last, try today. With four back-up saves!


Until I got prompted to update the PS3. Now, I'm over my download limit on my Internet connection until the 7th of April and it automatically goes to a slower connection. 


26 minutes later, it's still at 7%.


If I had the time and money, I'd hunt down my Internet Providers and beat them down with a spoon.


*insert very annoyed, rolling eyes, sighing brunette*


So, meanwhile I'm stuck with ironing until the download finishes. Hopefully sometime today - preferably this afternoon still. 


Oh, has anyone seen the new Resident Evil Afterlife Trailer? Gosh. I'm speechless - and that doesn't happen often - and I don't mean that in a good way. What were they thinking?